To marry a widower: melt the heart of love

Many of the men after the death of his wife married again. The pain of loss, or grief are able to endure steadfastly, not all, and often with a new family spouse is negative, incorrect comparison with the former spouse. How to marry a widower, and build an "island of peace" with him?

How not to lose your face in the endless pursuit of conformity untimely deceased wife? Remarriage with widower poses a serious psychological trap.People without the drawbacks
It is human memory that the loss of a loved erases past negativity in the relationship. Widowers often romanticize the deceased spouse until the absolute, becomes a man without flaws. All these women in his life are tested by comparison with a beloved spouse who had left prematurely. Live in such conditions is difficult because each person is unique, not like the others.
A common mistake of many widowers - search for a new wife-like facial features deceased spouse, the projection of her virtues and qualities of the new companion. Constantly meet their expectations is extremely difficult, under the force of a confident and patient women who can eventually replace the old picture of the world for a unique, wise building its family life under the new rules.Survival Strategy
Every woman is going to marry a widower, it is useful to understand that her life is a serious test of his previous wife. Only patience and love can be companions of harmonious family ties. Breakdowns, tantrums and accusations lead to the inevitable breakup. Understanding and respecting the experiences of her husband, can help reduce the pain of loss and turn our attention to building new relationships. Some practical advice to help overcome the inevitable period of adjustment, the connection of two fates.

    * All the things that remind of his ex-wife, it is better to clean away. Do not throw away, not to arrange a demonstration on the burning "fire inquisition" portraits and personal belongings deceased spouse than you can hurt injure husband suffering soul, and folded neatly in boxes and put into the pantry, cellar or attic. Even if he asks the question of their whereabouts, will receive a wise response to the museum of memories.
    * Try a single word or deed do not remind them of the loss. If this is impossible, we must be ready not to respond to stinging comparison or offensive comments in his address.
    * Develop a long-term plan to replace the previous experience to positive joint trips, holidays, vacation and so forth. Over time, the pain of loss subsides, and she and her husband will be celebrating the victory over discouragement.
    * Continuing to inspire him at every opportunity, that his dead wife will never be forgotten, that her memory may be only fair, but the past could not be returned and you want to live here and now.
    * Treat all his actions in relation to the former family calmly and respectfully. If, for example, he regularly goes to the grave of his wife, should not interfere with this, time is a great healer, everyday tasks in the new family will be able to teach it to another routine of life.
    * Do not put any "diagnosis" does not take his words and deeds as a mental illness, all people experience grief in different ways, the pain of loss. Everybody needs some time to learn how to live a new life.
It is interesting
Ten Oscars got famous musical film "Sound of Music" (USA, 1965), where a prototype of a singing nanny was Mary Kucera, a young governess, hit the home of a widowed naval officer Georg Ritter von Trapp. At first the girl had a very hard: seven children orphaned captain loved his deceased mother. George was older than Mary for 25 years. Iron discipline, the pain of loss did not have a romantic relationship.
Maria, a girl with a pure heart and a great singing talent, was able to instill love of children, they became a real friend. George drew attention to the fidgety young governess, made her an offer. In a new marriage in a singing family were born, three baby. The basis of a musical went to Maria's autobiographical book "The Family Von Trapp Singers. This girl was able to show the world that only generosity, love and patience can find the key to the heart of a widower who has "seven in the shops."
When a woman chooses a life of satellites in a man with a past, becomes the new wife of widower, she voluntarily condemns himself to certain difficulties in the relationship. Overcome them comfortable, to help her husband cope with the problem will only strong and kind, loving woman. In any case it is necessary to have patience and be ready for comparison with the former spouse.