In adolescence, the level of aggression is usually higher, but the reasons for its appearance and shape can be different. For example, a request to wash the dishes one child answered emphatically "no" and another will pretend not to hear, and bring my mother to the white heat their unwillingness to perform housework. What to do: grab the strap, call to conscience, or break the child's moral and force to obey?Teens feel that?
They find themselves in a contradictory situation. On the one hand, they must cope with the important task of age and separated from their parents. Therefore, the authority of mothers and fathers declining, new significant figures for young people are other adults whom they rassmarivayut as samples, and peers, whose opinion is beginning to be valued higher than before. On the other hand, parents recognize the fact that their children get older, gradually deprived of their support, but continue with the control. Children are sensitive to the contradictory message: "You're not a kid, pull yourself together." And then: "You still do not have equal rights with us. You've got to do what you said your father / your mother. "
The harder the sound requirements and fewer adolescent inner strength, the sooner the danger is that it will feel like a failure. Therefore, some children respond to aggression, sending you to hell with your dishes, while others express their protest in silence - they become apathetic and do not respond to requests and comments. In both cases, the teens tend to all the ways to avoid this situation in the literal and figurative way.What happens to parents?
Wanting your child to success in school and at work, parents demand that he quickly took responsibility for the gradual maturation. However, many are given to understand that although they recognize the right of a teenager at the office, they will continue to instruct their grown-up children. This desire is the desire to protect the child from the dangers of society, the adult world, in which he appears.
Adults and children like to re-live the situation where a child learns to walk. Mom and Dad-year-old child understands that they should give him an opportunity to show independence, to stand up and take the first steps. At the same time, they are concerned that this "free flight" child does not hurt himself. For example, when it clings to the edge of the tablecloth and pulls her to himself, along with her baby moving heavy vase and threatens to fall on his head. Study of aggression in adolescence - a milestone in the process of growing human as the ability to walk.What to do?
Remember that the manifestation of aggression and suddenly attacked the child's laziness may be a signal that you are driving yourself too hard. It is important to understand that any form of parental aggression (physical, direct, verbal abuse, humiliation, restriction of freedom of choice and action teen) supports, and sometimes triggers increased levels of aggressiveness in the child.
But this does not mean you should indulge maturing child in order to avoid conflict situations. Teenagers just badly needed parental consistency and firmness. Therefore, you should find a way to explain their positions and motives that guide you to make the decision making process transparent and understandable for the child. If children will not understand, against which they rebel, then the department will not happen. You can not break away from the ideal parents. Teen learns independence, often not doing so, they want parents and in doing so, as parents do not want.Case
Several group members talked about the same symptoms when children are not taken with a cell phone or do not respond to calls during the day, causing parents to worry. As an excuse for sounding different reasons - had forgotten to load, the tube of the village, I forgot to take the phone with them and so on.
Although the motivations of children "forget" your phone, in all cases are different, they suggest that adolescents perceive the cell phone as another channel for parental control and seeking to become independent from it.
One solution of this controversial issue can be negotiated with a teenager, during which you explain that they were interested in its security and will not once again worry and bother him if he would be felt throughout the day. Think and talk about the rules that will suit both parties, as well as develop a backup plan in case of emergency. For example, if a child is discovered that he had forgotten the phone or he got the battery, it will warn you with a phone pal.
Important clarification: laziness is not always the result of latent aggression. If you previously did not involve the child in the system of distribution of domestic work between family members, then do not be surprised that a teenager has failed to fulfill orders. Instead of pressure on him and is trying to "make him an independent man, to instill in teens the ability to take care of themselves, others and explain how this money is important in adult life.
They find themselves in a contradictory situation. On the one hand, they must cope with the important task of age and separated from their parents. Therefore, the authority of mothers and fathers declining, new significant figures for young people are other adults whom they rassmarivayut as samples, and peers, whose opinion is beginning to be valued higher than before. On the other hand, parents recognize the fact that their children get older, gradually deprived of their support, but continue with the control. Children are sensitive to the contradictory message: "You're not a kid, pull yourself together." And then: "You still do not have equal rights with us. You've got to do what you said your father / your mother. "
The harder the sound requirements and fewer adolescent inner strength, the sooner the danger is that it will feel like a failure. Therefore, some children respond to aggression, sending you to hell with your dishes, while others express their protest in silence - they become apathetic and do not respond to requests and comments. In both cases, the teens tend to all the ways to avoid this situation in the literal and figurative way.What happens to parents?
Wanting your child to success in school and at work, parents demand that he quickly took responsibility for the gradual maturation. However, many are given to understand that although they recognize the right of a teenager at the office, they will continue to instruct their grown-up children. This desire is the desire to protect the child from the dangers of society, the adult world, in which he appears.
Adults and children like to re-live the situation where a child learns to walk. Mom and Dad-year-old child understands that they should give him an opportunity to show independence, to stand up and take the first steps. At the same time, they are concerned that this "free flight" child does not hurt himself. For example, when it clings to the edge of the tablecloth and pulls her to himself, along with her baby moving heavy vase and threatens to fall on his head. Study of aggression in adolescence - a milestone in the process of growing human as the ability to walk.What to do?
Remember that the manifestation of aggression and suddenly attacked the child's laziness may be a signal that you are driving yourself too hard. It is important to understand that any form of parental aggression (physical, direct, verbal abuse, humiliation, restriction of freedom of choice and action teen) supports, and sometimes triggers increased levels of aggressiveness in the child.
But this does not mean you should indulge maturing child in order to avoid conflict situations. Teenagers just badly needed parental consistency and firmness. Therefore, you should find a way to explain their positions and motives that guide you to make the decision making process transparent and understandable for the child. If children will not understand, against which they rebel, then the department will not happen. You can not break away from the ideal parents. Teen learns independence, often not doing so, they want parents and in doing so, as parents do not want.Case
Several group members talked about the same symptoms when children are not taken with a cell phone or do not respond to calls during the day, causing parents to worry. As an excuse for sounding different reasons - had forgotten to load, the tube of the village, I forgot to take the phone with them and so on.
Although the motivations of children "forget" your phone, in all cases are different, they suggest that adolescents perceive the cell phone as another channel for parental control and seeking to become independent from it.
One solution of this controversial issue can be negotiated with a teenager, during which you explain that they were interested in its security and will not once again worry and bother him if he would be felt throughout the day. Think and talk about the rules that will suit both parties, as well as develop a backup plan in case of emergency. For example, if a child is discovered that he had forgotten the phone or he got the battery, it will warn you with a phone pal.
Important clarification: laziness is not always the result of latent aggression. If you previously did not involve the child in the system of distribution of domestic work between family members, then do not be surprised that a teenager has failed to fulfill orders. Instead of pressure on him and is trying to "make him an independent man, to instill in teens the ability to take care of themselves, others and explain how this money is important in adult life.
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