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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Signs of an unhappy marriage: a powerful impact on health

A bad marriage can have an impact on your health. Find out how to fix it. You may have heard that people are married are healthier physically and mentally, than singles. But this does not apply to people living in an unhappy marriage. Such relationships may even damage your health. Studies show that people who are dissatisfied with their marriage, have higher levels of stress and are more prone to heart disease. This does not mean that being happily married, you no ill, or vice versa, an unhappy marriage necessarily lead to disease. But it is indisputable that an unhappy marriage does not make you good.

Be aware of stress
If your marriage is unhappy, do not underestimate the stress that you experience every day. If you are constantly quarreling, nervous or worried silence their grievances, you inflict damage to your health.
Most couples can not solve their problems, such as when one partner does not feel empathy for another, or even allow the violence. But for most families, experts say, there is hope, even if they are unhappy in the marriage for several years.
The five most common bad habits to the marriage and how to deal with them.Keep everything in a
Each pair must overcome trials. But if you do not discuss the issue, the tension in the family will only grow as the distance from each other's spouses.
One patient recalled how she avoided conflicts with ex-husband when he was treated for alcoholism. "I always tried to have him all was well, he did not want to start drinking again. So I in no way upset him, and did not say anything that might cause a fight. " This restriction of communication led to her depression.
People who grew up in families where family members are free to discuss with each other their problems, it is easy to forge communication with your partner. But people who have not mastered these skills in childhood, face challenges, they need help to raise important issues in the talks.
How to fix: improve your communication skills. Try to read books about it or materials on the Internet. You can also refer to a psychologist-consultant.Inability to listen
Everyone wants to be heard, but the couple in an unhappy marriage is rarely listen to each other. It often happens that you do not listen to a partner, but pay attention to a word that makes you a negative reaction, and starts a quarrel.
When a person feels that he does not listen, it ceases to share innermost thoughts. If a person is, by contrast, understands that he listened attentively, communication becomes more intense.
How to fix: agree with your partner listen to each other by one of three or five minutes without interrupting. Try it and you'll see a spouse in a new light.Recrimination
In the unhappy marriage, bogged down in quarrels and anger, people are often accused of partners, rather than take responsibility for their own actions. But the prosecution does not help to solve the problem, they only increase the conflict.
How to fix: Try to find the true reason for which you quarrel. For example, you feel a lack of love, attention or respect.
If you find it difficult to find out why, ask yourself what you like, this quarrel. When you find out the reasons, you can change the behavior.To take another for granted
One of the most common problems in a marriage - where one partner perceives the other for granted and become inattentive to the needs of the spouse.
Perhaps, the husband stopped to greet, coming home from work or not thanks for the dinner. We all want to have appreciated, without it people feel lonely and unappreciated.
How to fix: show the spouse that you value it - a modest gift or a simple thanks. Take the time to the relationship, for example, plan the evening, you will spend together.
Perhaps you feel too irate or offended to give gifts. Experts advise to do it yet - and a wall of anger and resentment will be slightly lower.
You can strengthen closeness, remembering that you liked partner in the before and telling him in a calm tone that you're concerned about his behavior.Too fast to give
Do not refuse any help, especially if you're tired and not able to do to improve relations.
How to fix: you need time. Do not expect the anger will disappear immediately. Wait at least three months to figure out, does work with a therapist, or follow the advice of the books.
Change can be slow. But do not be afraid to make small steps toward the goal. Even the smallest step can be very important for the long road to recovery relationship.

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